June 26, 2012

Confessions of a Salad Hater

I'm a vegan and I never eat salad. 

Is that how a vegan 12-step program might start off? Because it's true. When I was in Wilmington recently, the guys we were with kept insisting that we should go to a pub-style restaurant because we could "definitely" find a salad there. (Cue eye roll.)

Um, dude? Do I look like I only eat salad? Didn't think so. 

Plus, while I love wasting spending money, I'm really not into throwing down $12 for some wilted cucumbers and tomatoes while I watch everyone around me pound burgers. Sick. 

But now it's summer. The last thing I want to do is stand in front of any sort of heat source, whether it be a microwave or oven. (I would make an exception for Sean on The Bachelorette.

Also? That whole Jillian Micheals thing hasn't exactly made me into the svelte supermodel I just know is waiting underneath all of my fat padding. (Apparently you have to do more than look at the DVD cover for it to work. I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g.)

So here I am, making salad. 

Except salads made by vegans aren't for the faint of heart. They have protein. They have flavor. They have (gasp!) fat. And they? Are delicious. 

Case in point: while staying with my friend Jess this week, I offered to make dinner with everything I'd brought from my fridge a carefully thought-out gourmet menu.

The result:


Wilted veggies this is not. In fact, we may have stuffed ourselves until phrases like "I think I might barf" came out of our mouths. (I mean that in the best way possible.) Leave out the lettuce and you have an awesome dip for tortilla chips. Please inform all new people you meet that this is the high standard you hold for salads.

Mango & Black Bean Salad
6 cups mixed greens
2 mangos, peeled and chopped
2 avocados, chopped
1 cucumber, sliced into half-moons
1 zucchini, sliced into half-moons
1 small red onion, sliced into strips
1/2 cup green onions, diced
2 15 oz cans black beans, rinsed and drained
(You could also add corn to this but I forgot my can at home. Woops.)

Cucumber-Cilantro Jalapeno Dressing
Follow recipe for Cucumber-Lime-Cilantro Dressing, only add 1 chopped jalapeno to the food processor. (Leave the seeds for extra heat.)

I hope I don't really have to tell y'all to combine the salad ingredients in a bowl and top with dressing. (Though store them separately to avoid dreaded sogginess.)

Serves 6 (or 3 if you go back for seconds. Which you will.)

Cheers, y'all!


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